Sydney funeral homes Q&A : funeral home information, funeral directors services: Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park, NSW

Funeral Home Q & A's

1. How to personalise a funeral and make a special tribute for a loved one?
2. What is the role and responsibility of the person who fills out the paper work for a funeral?
3. How to select a funeral director?
4. How to leave a message for your funeral director to call back?
5. How much does it cost for a funeral?
6. What is a pre-paid Funeral Plan?
7. What items need to be located and compiled when someone dies?
8. How important is having a current Will?
9. What is the best way to choose a coffin?
10. What are the different types of coffins and caskets?
11. What are the different types of coffin accessories and how are they used?
12. How important is the use of music and videos?
13. Is it popular to place photographs and memorabilia on the coffin?
14. How are flowers used in a funeral?
15. How to prepare a Eulogy?
16. How to organise a Wake?
17. Is cremation a substitute for a funeral?
18. Arranging a service for a cremation?
19. How to decide whether to be buried or cremated?
20. Important information relating to organ donation.
21. What is embalming and when is it done?
22. How long can a body be kept prior to a funeral?
23. What are the design features of a Hearse?
24. What are the road rules and etiquette when approaching a cortege?
25. What happens when someone dies overseas?
26. What happens when someone dies interstate?
27. How are services for Returned Soldiers and Ex-Servicemen and Women conducted?

1. How to personalise a funeral and make a special tribute for a loved one?

Funerals can be personalised to meet the cultural, personal or religious diversity of our community. Aside from the legal requirements, there are very few restrictions. There are many ways to personalise a funeral to respect the wishes of the deceased and the needs of each family.

In arranging a funeral, families are able to decide how and when they would like to view their loved one and spend more time with them.
The deceased's religion can determine the type of funeral and how it is conducted. This may decide the choice between burial and cremation and require special rituals, singing and prayers.
Some funerals can be intricate and highly structured, while others may be simple and more spontaneous.
The Eulogy and choice of music, photographs, videos, memorabilia and flowers can als personalise a funeral, giving it special meaning to families and friends in attendance and to those who are viewing the service on the Internet via Web Casting.
Families may choose to have a viewing, selecting the clothing for their loved one and/or providing an item of special significance that they would like to have placed in the coffin.
Some people may participate by carrying the coffin and/or scattering petals into the grave.
Others also request a lock of the deceased's hair, to retain and preserve as a special and very personal memory.

Whatever you decide, the choice is completely yours and you should take your time in considering all of the available options.

Your Funeral Director will help you with these decisions. They will discuss your wishes, suggest and explain the many options available to you, assist in the planning and arranging that very special funeral and personal tribute that you would like them to make on your behalf.

2. What is the role and responsibility of the person who fills out the paper work for a funeral?

The person who signs the paper work with the Funeral Director is called the Applicant. This role is very important in deciding and approving many decisions relating to a funeral, burial, cremation and memorialisation. The Applicant's responsibilities include:

Providing instructions in writing with respect to all of the funeral arrangements.
If cremation is preferred, collecting the ashes after a cremation and/or arranging a memorial for a loved one.
If burial is preferred, being the Applicant on record for the choice of a burial plot.

Our Funeral Home staff can help the Applicant by providing professional advice, guidance and assistance through the many important decisions that need to be made.

Also, our Customer Service family consultants are able to assist with information and explanation of the specific entitlements, terms and conditions that relate to each burial and memorial, depending on the choice of interment, whether cremation or burial.

3. How to select a funeral director?

Not all funeral directors are the same and if you are selecting one for the first time, there can be a lot to consider. While they all offer similar services, their facilities can be quite varied. A useful checklist you could use when selecting your funeral director and funeral home is provided below:

Who will be looking after your family throughout the entire service?
Does the funeral home have an on-site mortuary? If not, where is the deceased's body taken?
Is the embalming done at the funeral home? If not, where is this done?
Does the funeral home have a chapel on site? If so, ask to see it.
Is it possible to organise a viewing, if so, where is this arranged?
Do their staff give you confidence in listening to your needs?
Is the Funeral Director accredited with the Australian Funeral Directors Association? If not, with which organisation?

At Eastern Suburbs Funeral Services our funeral home is an accredited member of the Australian Funeral Directors Association (AFDA). We have an onsite mortuary which means your loved one is in our care at all times. We have two arrangement rooms, two viewing rooms and a modern peaceful chapel.

The best time to select a funeral home is when you have the peace of mind and time to make a considered choice without the emotional stress that occurs when someone close to you dies. I suggest that you discuss this with your family and explore your options at a time that suits you.

You are welcome to call and make an appointment to visit our funeral home at the Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park. You are also invited to tour our funeral home and meet the staff at our Open Day on 30th October 2010 between 11:00am and 2:00pm.

4. How to leave a message for your funeral director to call back?

When someone dies the first thing to do is to contact your doctor and funeral director. This can be a very difficult and emotional time for the person making the call. If the funeral director is contacted after hours and/or you are asked to leave a message for them to call back, it is very important to leave your name and telephone number to avoid your important call not being answered. Our funeral home's contact number automatically redirects to the attending directors personal number so you will receive a timely response to your important call.

5. How much does it cost for a funeral?

The cost of a funeral can vary considerably, depending upon the type of funeral you and your family would like to arrange and the options you choose. Lower cost options are available, however, you should ask your funeral director to explain all of the costs and choices that will best meet your needs and importantly, budget.

Costs are generally grouped into funeral director fees (which will include the cost of the coffin or casket) and disbursements. A disbursement is the fee charged by a service provider which the funeral director pays on your behalf. Examples include the fees charged by doctors for a cremation certificate and a cremation permit; or fees charged by a cemetery or crematorium. Other disbursements may include, but are not limited to, newspaper notices, flowers or catering.

You may have some additional costs to be paid directly to a cemetery or crematorium such as the Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park. These can include, after you have decided what is best for your loved one, a monument, headstone, plaque, wall niche, family garden or urn. Under NSW law, funeral directors must provide you with an itemised quote including GST, prior to any agreement being reached in writing.

6. What is a pre-paid Funeral Plan?

A pre-paid Funeral Plan is becoming the preferred option of many people within our community who are choosing to pre-arrange their funeral. In this way, they can be certain that their funeral will be conducted precisely as they would like and that their lives will be remembered and celebrated in a way that is very special to them.

This choice can remove much of the stress and anxiety for the deceased's next-of-kin and family who are already managing their feelings of loss and bereavement. They can then focus on providing support to each other, rather than being confronted with the many decisions that are required to arrange a funeral.

Pre-paying a funeral typically begins with selecting a Funeral Director, such as the Eastern Suburbs Funeral Services, who can provide a caring and professional service, explaining and advising on the many choices that will best meet the needs of each person and their budget. These can include the selection of service, coffin, music, flower arrangements and even death and funeral notices. They can also help you organise a Payment Plan to suit your financial position. Most importantly, a pre-paid funeral has the advantage of paying current prices, thereby protecting your family from any increases that may occur in the future.

7. What items need to be located and compiled when someone dies?

People can live very busy and complex lives, with a great number of legal documents, personal items and arrangements that need to be compiled into one place for the family to asemble and take-over. Here is a helpful list to start with:

Current wills
Pre-paid funerals and/or memorials
Credit cards and bank accounts
Insurance policies (life, property, business, health, Workers Compensation)
Superannuation policies
Mortgages and property deeds
Partnership and shareholders agreements
Marriage and birth certificates
Retirement village/home contracts or documentation
Health fund policies Licenses and registrations
Mobile telephone, land-line and Internet connections

When we take the time to study this list, it highlights the importance of compiling this information as it relates to our own lives into an accessible and organised system. By doing this, it will make it much easier for our families to locate and manage, if we are unfortunate enough to die unexpectedly.

8. How important is having a current Will?

It is very important to keep a current Will and have it updated as your circumstances alter, particularly with changes in marital status and children. Wills serve an essential function, for example, they can:

Nominate who you would like to be responsible for arranging your funeral.

Notate your choice between burial and cremation.

Determine who will manage your Estate and how your assets will be passed onto people of your choosing.

Be used to state how you would like to care for your children (if under 18), who their guardians will be and how you would like them to be educated and brought up. We encourage you to discuss this with your legal advisor.

9. What is the best way to choose a coffin?

The coffin provides focus throughout a funeral service and can be adorned with flowers and personal items such as photographs and medals. There are many coffins to choose from, made with different materials, finishes, colours and accessories. Some of the materials used are timber, particle board and

eco-friendly cardboard which all vary in cost. These choices can be presented and explained by your Funeral Director.

In selecting a coffin, you may want to start by considering what might have been the preference of the person who has died and the type of funeral they would have chosen. Take your time in choosing and consult your family and close friends who can help you decide. Your Funeral Director can also provide guidance as they are familiar with the many choices made by families of different cultures and backgrounds.

10. What are the different types of coffins and caskets?

A coffin is tapered at both ends to follow the shape of a body whereas a casket is rectangular and often has a domed lid. There are many different types of materials that are used to manufacture coffins and caskets which provide a very large choice to suit each family's budget, style and finish preferences. These can include:

Particle board coffins
Composite MDF
Cardboard coffins
Solid timber caskets
Solid timber coffins
Metal caskets

If you have decided on above-ground burial (crypt or vault), you will require a solid timber coffin or casket which will be fitted with a zinc liner inside. All types of solid timber, particle board and composite coffins and caskets, including cardboard can be used in cremations but a metal casket is not suitable.

11. What are the different types of coffin accessories and how are they used?

There is a vast range of accessories that can be selected to adorn a coffin or casket. The choice can be determined by the deceased's religion and/or affiliations (such as Rotary and Masonic clubs) and by the family's preferences and budget. Some religions, for example Jewish, have no accessories on the coffin except a name plate only. Examples of accessories are as follows:

Coffin/Casket interiors can include:
Plisse or Silk lining
Fixed handles or swing-bar handles
Name Plate
Motto (Religious, Rotary, Masonic, Ensignia etc)
Escutcheons' (Decorative seal)

12. How important is the use of music and videos?
Music and videos can embellish a service with a personal tribute, acknowledging some of the special moments that the deceased experienced in his or her journey through life.

They help to remind people and treasure what was very important about the person, their personality, their friendships, their achievements, what they enjoyed and the memorable times they shared amongst their friends and families.

In short, music and videos can add to the celebration of the deceased's life and times. All Memorial Parks have the facilities to be able to play these and can assist to compile material, if required.

13. Is it popular to place photographs and memorabilia on the coffin?
Many families prefer to place photographs and special items of memorabilia on the coffin during the viewing and also at the funeral service to help celebrate the life and memories of a person who has died. This can provide meaningful comfort and support for families and friends as they grieve the loss of their loved one.

The Funeral Director will collect these items on request and return them to the families after the service.

14. How are flowers used in a funeral?
Families can decide to include flowers as part of the funeral arrangements. A tribute of beautiful flowers, in carefully selected varieties, colours and arrangements can help celebrate the life of a loved one. They can adorn the coffin with a spectacle of colour and fragrances, providing comfort to grieving families and friends, as a symbol of their love and respect for the deceased.

The Funeral Home can organise this on your behalf, ensuring that the correct varieties and colours are ordered and placed on the coffin and/or in the church or chapel. In addition, you may decide to select flowers from the deceased person's own garden which may have given them many years of pleasure.

Family and friends may also bring floral tributes on the day which should be given to the Funeral Director to display appropriately. These could include posies, sheaths and wreaths. At a burial, you may like to include petals to be scattered into the grave.

15. How to prepare a Eulogy?
The Eulogy will help each person at the service to reflect, share and, possibly, deepen their understanding of the deceased. It engenders a feeling of togetherness amongst families and friends at a very emotional time and can be uplifting as a celebration of the deceased's life.

In preparing a Eulogy, speak from the heart. It does not have to be perfect; people will understand and appreciate what you are doing. Many will be glad that they have not had to prepare and deliver it themselves. Most importantly, be kind to yourself.

Accept that it is a very emotional time, that you may not be very experienced in public speaking and that it really does not matter if it is not what you may consider to be perfect. The deceased person would be proud of your courage and your efforts to speak on his or her behalf.

When preparing a Eulogy, reflect that everyone will have their own special relationship and memories of the deceased person. It is to be expected that your experiences will not be exactly the same as everyone else's. Each person present will be in their thoughts, listening, sharing and relating to the Eulogy you have prepared.

If you are not used to public speaking, we suggest that you take someone with you to the lectern as a support. Sometimes it is easier not to look up at the gathering of family and friends as the sharing of their grief may be too much to bear while you are delivering the Eulogy.

You can contribute some of the richness and diversity of your memories with photographs, music and video images. These can be displayed during the service. Our Funeral Consultants can provide you with guidance and assistance in preparing the Eulogy and can arrange the service for you on your behalf.

16. How to organise a Wake?

Many people organise a "Wake" for friends and family to gather after a funeral service. This can be a very enriching and embracing conclusion where the life of the deceased is celebrated in a relaxed and informal setting. It is a time when people can laugh and cry, giving comfort to each other as they remember the many experiences they shared with the deceased.

A Wake can be held at people's homes or in a function room. It can be arranged by the family or by your Funeral Director. Typically, refreshments are provided with tea and coffee, depending upon the preferences of each gathering.

The Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park has recently opened our new condolence rooms to provide this service to families. They are within walking distance of the Funeral Home Chapel and the Crematorium chapels and have direct access to Military Road. The rooms are fully catered and can hold gatherings up to 300 people. Our indoor/outdoor café and florist are within the same building, which, we are proud to announce, won the prestigious Master Builders Association award as the "Best Retail up to $20million" in 2009.

17. Is cremation a substitute for a funeral?

No, a cremation is not a substitute for a funeral but is an alternative to a burial or an above ground interment (crypt or vault) for the body's final disposition.

A cremation often follows a funeral service which may take place at a religious institution, the funeral home's chapel or at the crematorium chapel.

18. Arranging a service for a cremation?

The decision to arrange a cremation and not a burial, and the type of service, can often be determined by the deceased's religious beliefs. Cremation is the practice of many religions, but may not be approved by some, for example the Orthodox faiths.

The type of cremation service and where it is held can vary according to the wishes of each family, for example:

Most families choose to have the entire service conducted at the crematorium chapel.
Alternatively, they may decide to have the main service conducted at the family's place of worship or at a funeral home chapel, followed by a short committal service at the crematorium.
Families also have the choice to have the service held in its entirety at a funeral home chapel similar to ours at the Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park.

19. How to decide whether to be buried or cremated?
This decision is often made by the person who has died. Ideally, they could have pre-purchased their funeral arrangements or stated their preference in his or her Will. This removes a difficult decision for their family at the time of bereavement.

The choice between burial and cremation can be influenced by a number of factors:
For some people, their religious beliefs will determine the choice that is made.
Others simply have a personal preference between burials and cremations.
Most people like to be placed in the same location as their family and loved ones. This applies to burials and cremations.

The Eastern Suburbs Memorial Park can provide families with burial and cremation services and we have an on-site, modern Funeral Home with experienced consultants who can offer guidance and assistance to help families in their time of need.

20. Important information relating to organ donation.

It is important to ensure your family know of your wish to organ donate for the reason that the final decision is up to them. Without their consent your wish to donate will not occur. If families do not know the wishes of the deceased, they are less likely to give their consent.

While age and medical history is considered, almost anyone can donate.

It is easy to register to become an organ donor, You can do this by:

Selecting the option to become an organ and tissue donor on your driver's licence.
You can also register with the organ donor register at www.donatelife.gov.au. I encourage you to visit this site for helpful information relating to organ donation.

The funeral arrangements are not affected by organ donation and if the family decides to have a viewing, this can occur at a funeral home. Services can also be held when the deceased's body is not present which may occur if the body is:

Inaccessible and/or cannot be retrieved.
Still being held by the Coroner.
Donated to medical research.

21. What is embalming and when is it done?
The history of embalming dates back to ancient Egypt when it was used for religious reasons, in the belief that the deceased would need a body in the "afterlife".

Today, embalming is used to preserve the body and must only be completed by a Certified Embalmer and is required when:

The time between the death and funeral is extended.
The body is to be transferred overseas in accordance with the receiving country's guidelines.
The deceased will be buried above the ground, in a crypt or a vault.

22. How long can a body be kept prior to a funeral?
There are some strict legal requirements relating to how a body is kept and for how long prior to a funeral service. These rules relate equally to funeral directors and to the public.

A person who is not a funeral director must not retain a body if more than 5 days have passed since the date of death. Any exceptions to this would need to be approved by the Director General of the NSW Department of Health.
A funeral director must not retain a body other than in a mortuary or holding room.
A funeral director must not retain a body, other than a body that has been embalmed, for more than 7 working days after the issue of a death certificate, a burial permit issued by a coroner or a cremation permit issued by a coroner in relation to the body. Any exceptions to this would need to be approved by the Director General of the NSW Department of Health.

23. What are the design features of a Hearse?
A hearse is an extremely important part of providing families with a dignified and respectful funeral service. The vehicles are mostly custom built and are designed with the following modifications:

Extension to the standard length of the vehicles
Special under carriage storage areas
Opening side windows
Floral tray fitted to the roof
Capacity to carry dual coffins
Inclusion of religious and non-religious symbols which are of significance to families

24. What are the road rules and etiquette when approaching a cortege?

The Roads and Traffic Authority (RTA) handbook provides clear guidelines in relation to the correct road rules and etiquette when there is a procession of vehicles with their lights on, following a hearse in a funeral cortege. These are as follows:

When driving you must not negligently or willfully interfere with, or interrupt, the free passage along the road of any funeral cortege or authorized procession
You must not interfere with any vehicle or person apparently forming part of the funeral or procession. The handbook states that it is an offence to do so and you will be fined.

25. What happens when someone dies overseas?
The first, and most important decision, is to decide in which country the burial or cremation is to take place. When an Australian citizen dies in an overseas country, it is the responsibility of the funeral directors appointed in the country where the death occurred and in Australia to make repatriation and funeral arrangements on behalf of the person responsible and in accordance with their wishes.

If the deceased person has travel insurance, the insurance companies generally provide advice and assistance, taking care of most of the arrangements and costs associated with a local funeral or the return of the remains to Australia.

Alternatively, if a person dies in Australia and the family decides that the deceased person is to be buried overseas, the body is prepared and repatriated in accordance with the requirements of the receiving country. The death will be recorded in the relevant Australian State's Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

If the body is cremated in Australia, the crematorium will issue a Certificate of Cremation and the person's ashes can be memorialised in this country or sent overseas as requested by the deceased or his or her family.

26. What happens when someone dies interstate?
When someone dies interstate or some distance from the place of burial or cremation, the Funeral Home will arrange for the body to be transferred to the location nominated by the family.

27. How are services for Returned Soldiers and Ex-Servicemen and Women conducted?

Services for Returned Servicemen and Women can have members of their Returned Servicemen's Club (RSL) participating in the ceremony. The RSL Service is often conducted by the Welfare Officer of the RSL. Prior to the service, the flag is draped over the coffin and, if supplied, the service medals can be displayed on a special pillow.

Although varied slightly, the order usually is: during the service and before the committal, the officiating RSL member will announce details of the deceased person's service history, those with poppies are invited to come forward and place them on the coffin, the Ode is spoken, and then the Last Post and Reveille are played.

Q & A's: